The Comfort Zone vs. The Unknown

The point of this post is to explore a common human dilemma and offer a higher perspective on it.

We’ve all been there, a “should I stay or should I go?” situation. Perhaps its more like being at a cross roads and you’re not certain which is the “right” direction.

Maybe you have an idea of know what you want, but that means moving towards something you aren’t sure you’re ready for or worry you will fail at. You might have the thought of getting there and suddenly, shit, it’s actually not what you want, so you should just stay right where you are. These are all common qualms of a a very ubiquitous human dilemma… Your Comfort Zone vs. The Unknown.

Let’s start with what is Your Comfort Zone, really? For starters, its aptly named. The phrase describes a non-physical place of familiarity and safety. It’s what you know, the obvious choice, the Netflix and chill of life situations. There are no real obstacles towards getting anywhere because you know the terrain so well, in fact, you built it. Your comfort zone provides feelings of ease of mind, being in control, and having a psychological safety net. There is an invisible yet highly sensed perimeter around it which causes a visceral pang if you get too close to stepping beyond, which means your comfort zone is finite. This is partly what makes it so soothing, on top of having the perfect lighting, a thermostat set to body temperature, and being full of all your favorite shit. You don’t have to prepare to do anything new because there’s nothing left to do other than what you’ve already been doing. There are no mistakes to be made. Ahh, so cozy. Why on earth would you leave when your favorite chair and snacks are right here?

The comfort zone isn’t bad, of course. You once worked very hard to remove yourself from an unstable situation and into a place of security and safety. To this regard, comfort is golden. Inevtably though, you are being faced with a niggling feeling that tells you there is more to life, somewhere out there. After all, growth is a driving force of life.

Outside of the finite perimeter is what’s called The Unknown. It’s a seemingly unsafe place with a plethora of potential you can’t fathom because they’re, well, not known. In the unknown uncertainty reigns supreme and discomfort awaits you at every turn. You may have even witnessed people step into the unknown before and they were never the same again. The idea of venturing past the finite comfort zone and into the infinite unknown causes you to be inundated with questions you can’t answer, making the stability you can’t live without quake beneath you. Maybe the unknown stirs some excitement, but then irritation quickly ensues, it’s that same visceral pang letting you know you’re not in your comfort zone. You can’t say for sure if you’ll come out of there in one piece. This is extremely awkward for many reasons that you can’t quite explain, the resistance sounding the alarm in your head is so distracting. The unknown causes your body to tense up because it lacks the grooves of your predictable programming.

There is a subconscious fear of the unknown, a protective mechanism of the human psyche(one that I personally believe we are designed to overcome). This mechanism automatically turns on causing you to immediately feel anxiety, the need to over rationalize, analysis paralysis, and perhaps the worst of all, Self-doubt.

You can test this by observing how some level of resistance will percolate the minute you make a move away from the comfort of what you know and towards change. Self-doubt is quite creative, too. It tells you stories about what might happen if you choose to go into the unknown. All of which cannot be cross referenced with anything other than your emotional experience; negative emotions flood your system. Ugh, so uncomfortable! To remedy this you can stay where you are, as to not further aggravate the negative surge of emotions.

Just keep in mind, what’s on the other side of Self-doubt is Self-betrayal. When it comes down to the wire, you have to honestly look at these stories and weigh them against your reality: you are being squeezed out of your comfort zone and guided towards the unknown, otherwise you wouldn’t be faced with fear, Self-doubt, anxiety, etc.

With that, I offer you a higher perspective as mentioned above…

Let’s use a little neuro linguistic programming trick on yourself the next time you’re faced with this particular issue: Instead of “The Comfort Zone” call it “Self–doubt and Fear”, instead of ”The Unknown” call it “Self-trust and Opportunity”.

Stop and contemplate this for a moment. Factor in what version of your Self you want to be next. What do you truly desire for your life?

Now, if you were given the option, which how-to workshop would you sign up for? One that teaches you how to doubt your Self and be fearful, or one that teaches you how to trust your Self and seize opportunity?

You have the choice to go beyond the limitations of your comfort zone simply because you are the one that put them there. The limitations may keep you safe for a time, but with the cost of living a limited reality. There will be a lot that happens in between making the choice to go beyond and realizing it was the best thing you could’ve done, and plenty of it will be hard and immensely uncomfortable, but what’s on the other side are levels of your Self you didn’t know existed.